This blog is created for students in Editing for Print (COMM 510) for the Fall 2007 semester at Wichita State University. But other readers and writers are welcome — and encouraged— to post comments, too.
See a headline that is misleading or doesn't make sense? Subject-verb agreement problems in a newspaper or magazine story? A lead on a story that doesn't make sense — or is too wordy? An ad that misses the mark? Sexism or racism in a story? A TV news piece that doesn't provide enough information, or takes a wrong angle? Point those issues out, and add your comments.
Les Anderson
Associate professor
Elliott School of Communication
Wichita State University
248 comments:
1 – 200 of 248 Newer› Newest»If any of you editors-in-training (is that the appropriate use of hyphens?) are interested in news design, check out the Society of News Design Web page at snd.org and consider attending our student chapter meeting at 3:30 p.m. Thursday in the Elliott Hall library.
I'm reading through the two sports stories in the Aug. 20 edition of The Sunflower and it seems like both of them are pretty opinionated, especially at the beginning. One article talks about having Lungren "right combination of ability and accomplishment to lead the team."
Also, in that story it uses "she claims" instead of "she said" which makes it sound like the writer doesn't believe her.
Instead of saying the volleyball team is prepping for another "wonderful" season in the second volleyball story, a better word choice might have been "winning."
Another thing I notice in that issue is the stories are not consistent about using "said." Some stories have it before the source and some have it after.
To anyone who writes for the Sunflower, there's a fantastic show playing at the Cabaret Old Town Theater right now called 'Totally Gnarly 80's.' It's getting great reviews and it fits the genre of a lot of young adults. I'm sure if more people on campus knew about this small theater, it would be very popular. Let me know if a review will be done on this show because I have contacts there.
I was reading a story in The Sunflower titled "Graduate finds fun "Activitea'" about a recent WSU graduate who opened his own tea bar in the Green Elephant Village. The idea behind opening a tea bar was all because he doesn't drink coffee and he thought it would be something different for people to drink.
It's a great concept because he convinces people to drink tea who have never tried it before. For instance, he made a special blend of tea for a person who was an avid Mountain Dew drinker and didn't particularly like tea.
However, the part of the article that I found to be a bit disturbing was when he was quoted as saying "I want to someday put Starbucks out of business." Why is it necessary to put Starbucks out of business when their main focus is gourmet coffee, and his establishment is a "tea bar?" Starbucks sells tea, but it's not their main focus or most profitable item so I think that he should focus on branding and advertisement. The bottom line is that people will drink both coffee and tea, they don't have to choose just one.
O.K. I was reading the August 22nd issue of The Sunflower when I came across the volleyball article. "Shockers meet K-State..."
Anyways, the article seems to be a bit demoralizing to the WSU team. "It will be important for the Shockers to keep a close eye on the team's offensive leaders." I know it would be worse to say the opposite, but this seems like something that could be left out.
Also, she uses the word "outstanding" to describe California's volleyball team. Who's to say they are wonderful?
I was reading the Aug. 16 issue of "The Sunflower." On page 2, there is a section entitled "WSU needs to expand residence hall capacities."
The very last sentence says "Granted, some years may not be as good as this year for applicants; however, planning ahead and having space available will go a long way to attract more students, especially those wishing to get the full college experience by living in a residence hall."
First, this sentence seems extremely wordy to me. It could have been broken up into several different sentences.
Second, the semi-colon needs to be taken out, while a period is inserted, starting a new sentence. This would solve some of the wordiness problem in the sentence.
In the Local & State section of the August 21 Wichita Eagle, there is a story about drunken driving deaths. As I was reading it, the story flowed quite well until I followed the jump. The words "too many" are repeated, and farther down, there is a sentence that reads, "According to the nationwide data, drunken driving deaths of Columbia and Puerto Rico."
This didn't make any sense to me the first time I read it, and I still don't know what the sentence was supposed to mean.
In the "Seven questions in less than seven minutes" section of the Sunflower in the Aug. 20 edition, the word "may" should be capitalized.
In the Aug. 22 edition of the Sunflower, the article titled "College Republicans speak against illegal immigration" has a wordy lead. The writer probably wanted to include the five W's.
In the same edition in the section "Seven questions in less than seven minutes," the word "on" is missing from the sentence "I took office July 20, 2007."
On Aug.23,USA Today had an article that seemed to be terribly wordy. The headline read "Hold-Right pencil points out right way for kids to get a grip on writing". In my opinion not only is it wordy but they are trying to be humorous and failed in using "wright" and "right". The way the headline for the article reads made me want to skip right over the article itself. If the headline is so wordy, imagine what is the article is like... yuk!
A headline from TheDenverChannel.com reads: 'Drawing of gun gets student suspended.'
The headline is confusing. Did the student pull out a real gun? Or did a picture drawing of a gun get the student suspended?
It turns out the student drew a picture of a gun on his homework. He was suspended for three days.
In the Sunday issue of The Eagle, pages 6-7D, the headlines run together. Two headlines are placed next to each other with little difference in their font size. They appear to read "U.S. routs Canada Chargers' Turner prepared to handle criticism." They should read "U.S. routs Canada" and "Charters' Turner prepared to handle criticism." While neither of these headlines are necessarily wrong, their placement shows very poor lay out and planning, and is very misleading.
A headline from kansas.com reads: "Corps will continue to dredge Missouri River."
The headline is confusing. When I first read the headline I thought that there was a dead body still in the Missouri River.
After reading the article it is the Army Corps is dredging the sand in the Missouri River.
I'm reading an article about the "On Broadway" project in the Aug. 27 issue of The Sunflower and in the second column there is a misspelled word. It says "perticipant" when it should be "participant."
Also, in the SAC story at the bottom of page one the headline really should not say "fun." It's kind of editorializing.
I was also very shocked to read about the WSU student who was charged with killing a dog.
In the sports section of the August 27th Sunflower, I was reading an article titled "Shocker Volleyball loses Momentum and Trips in Opening Tournament." In the second column of the article Chris Lamb, WSU head volleyball coach is quoted as saying, "K-State is a beautiful thing to watch," and goes on to say "they have all the component parts. They've got it going." Yet, throughout the article he doesn't say anything nearly as great about WSU. These statements attribute to students not being excited about WSU and athletics. Even the coaches are praising other schools, and have little to say about the potential of our team. So why should we care? Why should anyone attend these events?
I was talking to somebody the other day and apparently the word "sect" is an extremely offensive word to use when referring to religious denominations. I had no idea! It's supposedly a big no-no for writers. Am I the only person who didn't know this?
In Friday's Wichita Eagle, there is an article titled "Auburn QB plays to win."
The lead of the story calls him Brad Cox, but he is referred to as Brandon Cox later in the story.
Also, a comment posted online in response to another Eagle story,
"East players give the rest of the story," made me cringe. It read:
"I am so glad to hear that the members of this team actually get it, with the exposure the Browns bring and every film coaches watch other players have the opportunity to be watched on that film also, their is so much jealousy around it is actually refreshing to hear that these players can understand what an opportunity it is for them also."
People should write correctly, especially if others are going to read what they write. Many blogs and comments like this butcher the English language.
I was reading the Sunday edition of The Eagle and found an article titled "Law enforcement is complying with law." I thought that this was a little odd. Why wasn't law enforcement complying with the law before?
I was so excited to write about one of the articles in the Aug. 27 addition of the Sunflower. One of the headlines read, "Construction wreaks havoc on parking". When I looked at this I thought it was spelled incorrectly. I went to the online dictionary and couldn't get anything to come up with this spellling. I just knew it was wrong. However, yesterday reading my marketing text book they had the same phrase... "wreaks havoc". I couldn't believe it! It was printed right there in my text! So I guess this was right after all. I didn't see any other articles this week that stood out to me as wrong nor did I see any mispellings. Good job Sunflower! :)
In the Aug. 29, 2007 issue of the Sunflower, the article "Parking options limited by cost" is a little misleading. The article began by telling the readers about the construction of the parking garage in Kansas State. I believe the writer should have added "University" at the end. Most people know what Kansas State is but there are also many new students who read the Sunflower that have no clue that Kansas State is a university. (This is based on my own experience)
Also when I read the article, it was difficult to figure out when the writer started talking about Wichita State University until the fifth paragraph when the writer quoted Andi Chavez about parking on 17th Street.
In the same issue of the Sunflower, the article "GEEKS offer free tutoring to students" has a wordy lead.
Twice in the past week, the proper usage of the word 'unique' has crossed my path. Once, in 'The Elements of Style' by Strunk and White, and also in a book I'm reading, 'Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates' by Tom Robbins. The explanation by Tom Robbins is more illustrative so here it is:
"I may have been fired from the CIA, but I still moonlight for the Grammar Police. Unique is a unique word, and Madison Avenue illiterates to the contrary, it is not a pumped-up synonym for unusual. There's no such thing as 'most unique' or 'very unique' or 'rather unique'; something is either unique or it isn't, and damn few things are."
The article in the Wichita Eagle on Labor Day titled "Motorcycle Riders' Ranks Expanded" seemed to catch my attention. I didn't understand the headline so much, and by reading the article, all that I could gather was that motorcyclists are traveling to Cassody for their seasonal ride. It just really confused me.
Now that we have to do a critique on the Aug. 27 issue of The Sunflower I'm just now realizing all the mistakes I missed while reading it the first time around. For example the word "participant" is spelled wrong in the class project article. I really missed that the first time. This mistake is among the many I found while reading the three articles for the crtique assignment.
In the Local & State section of the Septemebr 3 edition of the Wichita Eagle there is a vague headline. The article is written by Ron Sylvester and entitled, "What to do with that car? Donate it to charity".
This is a confusing headline. What car are they talking about? Perhaps it would be clearer if it read, "What to do with your old car? Donate it to charity".
http://s70.photobucket.com/albums/i83/graphitesun/?action=view¤t=sneakpeak.jpg
I pulled this from a rather large archive of pictures of badly written photos. MSN news wrote an article about Britney Spears. On the caption, you can see that the segment says sneak peak, instead of peek.
http://s70.photobucket.com/albums/i83/graphitesun/?
action=view¤t=sneakpeak.jpg
The image above didn't go through all the way. Here it is again.
There's an article in the August 27 edition of Newsweek (can also be found at -- http://www.msnbc.msn.com
/id/20218937/site/newsweek/ --) called "A Town in Termoil" about racial problems at a high school in Louisiana.
I can imagine as an author of a story like this how difficult it would be to keep biases out of the content, but during reading the article, it seemed to me like the authors (Gretel C. Kovach an Arian Campo-Flores) did seem to take the side of the black students. A side that I completely agree with myself (as the READER of the article), but as the authors, I think they should have done a better job at being less biased.
In the September 5 issue of the Sunflower there is a story about a series of bike thefts at WSU. Detective Lloyd Harp gave an interview and was quoted as saying, "....the theft or when someone is caught with bike." It appears as though the author ment to say, "Most of them occurred during the theft or when someone was caught with the bike."
In several editions of the Sunflower, I have seen the same ad for Z Hair Place. The first time I read it(Aug. 20), I noticed the word "and" was repeated. When I saw the ad in another issue last week, the mistake was still there.
Also, the ad, which is a note to Lindsay Lohan, doesn't make me want to get a haircut there.
In the Sept.7 addition of the USA Today, there is an article on page 8A that is titled "Stumping in Iowa, Thompson stresses conservative views". What is stumping? It makes it sound as if maybe he was stumping people with questions or this was a certain kind of walk? I think the title needed to be reworded. Simply, "stopping" would have been sufficient.
In this Sunday's Eagle the front page story "Past it's Prime" I found a style error. There is a sentence that I read that said Shoppers should pay closest attention to eggs and deli meat—or any protein, said... I couldn't figure out a reason for the need of the dash. I try to stay away from dash because many people don't understand how to use them.
Commenting on my own blog from earlier today... clearly I meant "edition" not "addition". Oops!!
In the Sept. 5 edition of The Sunflower News, the title "Text alerts offered to WSU students, staff" doesn't fit the news because the article mentions students but not the staff.
In the article titled "Advances in technology create obsessive gamers" of the same Sunflower edition, the phrase "...can beat me at blindfolded..." doesn't seem right. Should it be "...can beat me blindfolded..."?
I was reading the September issue of Marie Claire and it alluded to a celebrity's dress being the "mother lode." I searched for a while online, thinking that surely it should be "mother load" but found that the former refers to what gold and silver miners called a good find. Interesting.
In the September 10, 2007 issue of the Sunflower i noticed a few grammatical errors that i thought i would address. In the story regarding campus safety, Paul Dotson's quote is a bit wordy. He states, "The victim advocates are so happy..." and then the quote gets confusing. Perhaps removing the word "so" is appropriate. Also, in Ashley Richardson's article there is an agreement issue. "Although some say the tuition breaks for illegal immigrants are unfair..." I think that would sound better.
From a Sept. 11 Eagle article:
'So "prairie dogs" is fightin' words in some parts of western Kansas.'
I know "is fightin' words" a fairly common phrase, but I wonder if it would be used in papers across the country? Or is more of a Midwest phrase?
I'm reading the rowing story in the Monday, September 10, 2007 issue of the Sunflower. The caption reads, "The rowing team practices daily every morning". That's redundant. There is no need to say daily every morning. Every morning is sufficient.
Today on Kake.com under the story about a woman having sex with her 14-year-old babysitter, it says that the boy's older brother "wakked" in on the two having sex in the bedroom.
How ironic???
Today on Kake.com under the story about a woman having sex with her 14-year-old babysitter, it says that the boy's older brother "wakked" in on the two having sex in the bedroom.
How ironic???
In the september 11 Eagle, on page 1A, the prairie dog story "them is fightin' words" is a cliche.
In the September 10th issue of The Sunflower I was reading the article about the faculty member covering an instructor's classes. In the article, Donald Byrum has a long wordy quote that uses the word "some" too often (in the fifth paragraph). All the editor needs to do to correct the quote is take out the word "some."
In the Wichita Eagle today (Sept. 11), there was a typo in the article talking about Brad Pitt. He was talking about how weird his kids must think it is with the media always in their faces, and how he has to be ultra aware and concerned when his kids are ''in tow." They meant "in town."
http://s70.photobucket.com/albums/i83
/graphitesun/?action=view¤t=
yahoonews.jpg
The above picture shows a clear error on the front page of the Yahoo Home Page. Someone forgot to put the word 'the' in. Despite the amount of coverage they have, you think they would spot an error like this.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070912/ap_on_re_as/indonesia_earthquake_18;_ylt=AqOXoKkEa6bibLjlz2rqCjAE1vAI
Second paragraph, it said "...said Suhardjono, an official with Indonesia's meteorlogical ageny, who goes by only one name."
It sounds like the agency only goes by one name, when they were actually talking about the official.
An MSN.com article headlined "Why the lunch break is going extinct" caught my eye. I thought it would be interesting to read, but I was disappointed after I started reading the lede.
"My relatives in Athens, Greece have always indulged when it came to their lunch breaks.
They'd leave work and head home around 1 p.m. and sit down with family at a big table loaded with food, everything from grilled octopus with greens to roasted lemon chicken and potatoes. There was also always wine and Ouzo, an anise-flavored liquor, flowing.
As you can imagine, everyone got pretty tired partaking in this feast so they'd all go off to bed for at least an hour nap.
Around 3:30 or 4 p.m. they'd go back to the office or factory and toil until about 7 or 8 p.m.
I always mocked my relatives when we would visit them in Greece during my teen years. Their endless lunch breaks seemed to me to be the height of laziness.
Ah, the ignorance of youth. I would give my right arm if I could get that kind of lunch today. Who wouldn't?"
By the end of that, I just didn't want to read it anymore. Get to the point, please! I still don't know why the lunch break is going extinct. Maybe someone should e-mail them and let them know they're losing readers.
I was just reading a story that CNN linked from its website (http://www.wlky.com/news/14092762/detail.html) about a 9-year-old boy who hid with his two siblings from a murderer in his house. The story links to a 911 tape and on the transcribed version the news shows, it quotes the boy as saying "the only people hear are..."
Obviously the word should be "here."
Also, I was a little surprised by how blunt they were with the headline:
Child: 'They're Dead In My House, There's Blood Everywhere.'
It seems kind of grisly to me to put that as the headline. Anybody else think the same?
Oh yeah, and it also says in the story that the child identified the victims as his mother and grandfather.
He clearly says grandmother. You can hear it and can read it in the transcribed tapes. Just a sentence later the story names the victims as Tracy Burke, 31 and Karen Comer, 53. Karen obviously has to be the grandmother because she's older, and the name is a feminine one, so I don't understand how something that crucial got through copy-editing.
Oh goodness. I found ANOTHER one on this story!
The children are ages 9, 5 and 1 and a half years old.
There should be hyphens with 1-and-a-half years old.
In the Eagle's Sept. 11 Sports in Brief, I thought there was some confusion in the paragraph titled Colleges. It reads: "Pittsburgh athletic director Jeff Long will replace Frank Broyles in the same position at Arkansas..."
When I first read it, I thought the author was referring to Pittsburg State, but had misspelled "Pittsburgh." However, when I checked Arkansas' website, it said the new AD comes from the University of Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania. I think the article should have included this information for clarification. Also, another sentence ends "this year,."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070914/ap_on_re_us/teen_drivers_cell_phones_1;_ylt=At8f1_mUnSrCeVC512EgAPcE1vAI
The lead sentence says "A message from the state of California to its 16- and 17-year olds: Dnt txt n drv - thnx."
Does anyone think that last line in the sentence shouldn't have been written like that? It just seems very un-professional to me.
I know this probably won't count, but I was driving home from work and found that the scrolling marquee outside of the Taco Shop on 21st said this:
"We have freshly brewed ice tea..."
Ice tea is supposed to be iced tea. I just thought that would be something to point out.
In the Wednesday's Sunflower there is an article that starts out, "It's official: the fall semester is in full swing". Why would a colon be needed to get a point across? A simple comma would have made better since. Leaving "It's official" out all together or rephrasing to say that the fall semester is officially in full swing.
Sorry... did it again... I mean "sense" not since.
In the Wednesday’s Sunflower, I read the article “Intramural activities encourage socializing.” I found an error that caught my attention. It reads “Sitting around and dreaming about grandma’s turkey dinner won’t make come any faster…” There should be an “it” between won’t and make. Also I think that “sooner” would be a better word then “faster.”
In the Monday, Sept. 17 issue of The Wichita Eagle the opinion page has a prominent error. In the editorial cartoon, there's one guy that's saying, "The government finally took notice I'm losing my home..." and a polar bear responds, "Yeah...a lot good that does..." when it should say "Yeah...a lot of good that does..."
The front page of Monday's Sunflower has a centerpiece story about Artscape. In the caption, it should be "performing arts students." In the same story just before the jump it should say "can exceed the costs covered by student fees" instead of "cost." In the jump on page two it should say "students have the opportunity to showcase their talents," not "talent."
There are also many comma errors. In many of the stories there is a comma after a list before the word "and" when there should not be.
For example, from the SGA brief:
"Other topics of discussion included the now open position of secretary, the upcoming meeting of the Kansas Board of Regents, and the Shocker Alert System..."
The final comma is not AP style.
Also, you don't need the word "now" in the above passage.
On the Wednesday, Sept. 12 issue of the Sunflower, the headline "Creative writing class benefits inmates" doesn't suit the article because the articles focused a lot on the students and mentions little about the benefits to the inmates.
In the sentence "Since classes are not mandatory, the inmates attending the sessions are only the ones who are truly interested...," the word "only" can be eliminated because if the inmates are truly interested, then they will attend the session.
In the Monday issue of The Sunflower there is an article on the front page about SGA. In the second paragraph the word "entitled" is used incorrectly. ....Shocktoberfest will be entitled "License to Shock"... Entitled should be replaced with "titled" because "License to Shock" will be the new title of Shocktoberfest.
From the Wednesday, September 12 Sunflower page 2 (the one we were assigned to rewrite headlines for):
WSU police should utilize pedal power
I originally thought this was, for once, an okay headline. Then I remembered one of my key take-aways from my internship this summer:
"Never utilize utilize when you can use use."
I still think it's an alright headline, but remembering this advice, I think it can be tweaked a bit.
In the story "RSC offers free Texas Hold'em for students" (Sept. 12 issue), the nut graf has an agreement error. It says "...the Rec Center is hosting their increasingly popular tournaments."
"Their" should be "its" because the Rec Center is one place, and the sentence should probably be reworded anyway because a Rec Center can't host a tournament. It's not an animate object.
In the story "Intramural activities encourage socializing" in the Sept. 12 issue of The Sunflower, there's a word missing completely from a sentence. It should say "Sitting around and dreaming about grandma's turkey dinner won't make them come any faster, but there is one great way to make the time pass more quickly: get active and be involved." The word "them" was left out completely. Also, if there's only one way to make the time pass quickly, why are there two things stated?
The entire story is pretty opinionated, too.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20070917/sc_livescience/numberofleftiesbouncesback
This article refers to left-handed people as "lefties" throughout the entire article. This could be insulting to left-handed people.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070918/ap_on_fe_st/odd_suing_god;_ylt=Akf.oyffIWsEMk2unSrNlQIEtbAF
This article refers to a state senator as "state senator" and "State Sen."
Is it just me, or should you be consistent with capitalization of job titiles?
On the Kansas.com website, there is an article titled "Man seeks parole in '79 murders of North teacher, wife."
Towards the middle there is a few sentences that says, "Six people appeared on Crease's behalf. But a group [...]" This is a sentence fragment. You should never start a sentence with the word "but."
I think the sentence would be more effective to say "six people appeared on Crease's behalf, but a group {...}"
In the Monday Sept. 17 issue of The Sunflower, in the article "Artscape helps WSU Fine Arts," in the first sentence it says "As a fund-raiser for the College of Fine Arts..."
In the stylebook, "fund-raiser" is one word: fundraiser.
During Comm 301, taught by Cori Dodds, she stressed that in all publications, writers should always use the rule of "Time, date, place."
In the same issue of The Sunflower (Monday Sept. 17), it says that Career Services will be hosting the fair in the concourse of Koch Arena, Wednesday Sept. 19 from 4 to 9 p.m.
This should look like this:
"Career Services is hosting the Fall Career from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 19 in the concourse of Koch Arena."
It seems like every time I read the Sunflower there is a story about parking issues. There is always someone who thinks they need to complain even more about parking. Everyone knows parking at Wichita State is not the greatest, although I think we should fill the university paper with NEWS, not regurgitated lame complaints that really can't be fixed immediately. The story is from Sunflower last Wednesday.
In the Wichita Eagle on Tuesday, there was a mistake on the front page of the Local & State. The "Sparks fly at City Hall" story has a sentance that reads:
"City Hall, at 455 N. Main, is expected to re-open Tuesday, and the 9 a.m."
the "and the 9 a.m." part doesn't make sense.
Last week, KAKE did a web poll on whether viewers thought Fort Hays State should change its name - something that the school is considering. On the website, they phrased the question like, "Do you think Fort Hayes State should change its name?"
With Hays spelled H-A-Y-E-S.
It was just ironic given what the poll was about in the first place.
In the Eagle's September 18, 2007 edition there is an error on the front page. Under the headline "After-school gap worries parents" it says, "3 middle schools lack options for kids". This violates the rule that if a number is at the start of a sentence or under 10 it should be spelled out. Three is the key.
In the September 19 issue of the Sunflower, in the article about giving blood - about the fifth paragraph or so...it says...
"Red Cross representative Jo Tooill said the universal blood type is O-negative, which can be given to anyone."
...Did the writer really need to say Tooill said this? Isn't it kind of common knowledge? Does Tooill really need to be attributed this bit of information?
In the Sept. 19 edition of the Sunflower, I noticed a buy one get one free ad for a Big Mac from McDonald's. Then I noticed that the coupon's expiration date was Sept. 18.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070921/ts_nm/iraq_dc_25;_ylt=Av0ngI0yh_0aIK7iroepHskE1vAI
This article is about the Blackwatre security company.
In a quote, it says "'I take very seriously, and called up Prime Minister Maliki to regret, the loss of life.'"
First off, "I take very seriously" isn't right. It should say something like "I take it very seriously" or something. Also, the second comma in the quote is completely out of place.
Oh my goodness, that same article has another one!
"'What I think we would hope, though, is that before anybody move forward on their own that what we could do is have a discussion about some of these issues ... that it be done in that kind of coordinated manner.'"
It should say "..before anybody moves.." not "before anybody move..."
I read news from the KSN website regularly and they apparently don't focus on their headlines. After our class the last few days, I have looked at headlines more closely. They have a story about a man who shot his brother Saturday night. The headline reads, "Man shot in east Wichita". Ok, well that is pretty vague, yet it also tells you everything. The headlines isn't catchy enough for readers to open the link. They should say something like, "Alcohol influences man to shoot brother". That just sounds more interesting so people will open the link to get the details.
The KSN website has a story about Cessna 195 planes. The story is simple and to the point, although the interviewee's responses don't add anything to the story. It sounds like the interviewee is a kid because his use of vocabulary is similar to that of my 9 year old niece. Although this guy is the owner of one of these planes so he's probably not 9 years old. There is only so much you can do if the interviewee responds to your questions with meaningless mush, so as the interviewer you must ask questions that require more in-depth answers. With responses like, "It's really neat to see the planes", it sounds like the interviewer simply asked them something like how do you feel? They should ask questions like, "How much was invested in restoring this plane and what is so unique about this plane?" These sort of questions will make a story much easier to write if the responses are beneficial to the story.
I was browsing kake.com today and found a headline that didn’t make sense. The headline reads “Valley Center Sales Tax Vote a Hot Issue.” It makes the story sound as if the sales tax is going to vote. I also think that it should read “on Hot Issue” because “a” doesn’t sound like right phrasing for the story. Reading the story it was about a vote to raise the sales tax after the county-wide downtown arena tax expires. The city, however, has not said what the tax will be used for and there is no specific end date.
In the Sept. 17 edition of the USA Today, there was a headline that read "Superfast firefighting required for new jets". Since "superfast" isn't really a word they should have used a space or a hyphen to separate the two words so that it would have made grammatical sense.
The Sunday edition of the Eagle had a story on the front page entitled, Feds collect personal details on travelers. The first two paragraphs are long confusing sentences. "New details about the facts the U.S. government is gathering on the travel habits of millions of Americans suggest that the government is monitoring the personal information of travelers more closely than it has previously acknowledged."
I think that the opening is very frustrating to the reader. It's not smooth. Perhaps is might be better to say "The U.S. government might be monitoring Americans travel habits closer than previously acknowledged."
In the Sept.19 issue of The Sunflower, the article titled "Phi Delta leads intramural tennis" has a mistake in the article. The player's last name is "Kissack." But in one line, the writer spelled "Kissick."
In the front page of the same Sunflower issue, the headline "Constitution Day results in fireworks" needs to be changed. When I look at the word "fireworks," I think of happy events. Probably it could be changed to "Constitution Day brings talk, heat"
On the front page of Monday's Sunflower, I noticed that the headline of one story was, "Sorority supports leukemia." The headline seems like the sorority is supporting cancer and not fighting against it. It should be something like, "Sorority fights leukemia."
While getting my celebrity gossip fill, I was reading through US Weekly, and found an editing mistake. Under the Britney Spears interview, a small piece was written about Daimon Shippen, Britney's ex-nanny. The article calls her an "ex-manny" though. From what I hear this is what they call male-nannys now, but she is a female, so I had to believe it was a typo.
While reading Monday's issue of The Sunflower, I noticed that the cutline for the mini-golf story had an error. "Tudents" is written instead of "students." An "s" should be added to correct the error.
Also, while reading Monday's Sunflower I noticed another error in the mini-golf story. In the ninth paragraph it says anon-profit. A and non should be two separate words. The way it's written is confusing, but it's obvious that the author forgot to hit the space bar.
Finally, from the article about leukemia in Monday's Sunflower there was an error on page three of the paper. The first line on page three reads: Montgomery's bother. Bother should be changed to brother.
I was listening to the radio this evening and i heard some incorrect information. Power 93.9 FM announced the WSU trike races. They said that they would be held in the RCS court yard, not the RSC court yard.
As I was reading through the Monday edition of the Sunflower I found some mistakes on the front page. The first I noticed was the top picture on the left side reads “WSU tudents” it should read “students.” I was reading the “Crime Briefs” and noticed something that kept repeating. In each story “according to” was repeated at least once, sometimes twice. There is something else that could use instead. The same person wrote the four stories and should have noticed the repetition.
In Monday's edition of the Sunflower, the second crime brief article is ridiculous. The word "victim" is used six times, the word "assailant" is used 5. The article is less than two short columns long, it just seems crammed with repeated words.
On Tuesday's KSN Channel 3 10 p.m. news: the reporter said Big Rick's BBQ sauce company was:
"on the precipice of turning a profit."
First of all, the word isn't common language. I get what he meant: they were just on the edge of turning a profit, not quite there.
But here's the definition of precipice: –noun
1.a cliff with a vertical, nearly vertical, or overhanging face.
2.a situation of great peril: on the precipice of war.
What a silly word to use. It doesn't even make sense unless the reporter was trying to be ironic or funny, like, "they're in grave danger of making a profit," which I doubt they were since earlier in the story he said they were just breaking even.
In the Sept. 27 edition of the Dub-K, there is an error on page 2.
The Hot Shox tells this guy's height, but it's done in the incorrect format. It says "Height: 5-foot-11-inches" but it should say "Height: 5 feet 11 inches."
You would only use the first format if you were saying "He was a 5-foot-11-inch man." But in this case it's like saying, "He is 5 feet 11 inches tall."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070926/ts_nm/iran_usa_ahmadinejad_dc_1;_ylt=AibeeUDfqcrsreeQmGJtY_ME1vAI
This article says that Iran "muzzles" critics. I get what is being said, that Iran is silencing them, but it sounds like they are having muzzles put on them.
It just reminded me about our lessons in word choice.
On the kake.com website in the article about the schools shut down during a search for robbery suspects, an error is made in the 3rd paragraph.
The article talks about the three men following an employee into the store and "the held up the manager."
It should have said "they" instead of "the."
In the Sept. 27 issue of the Dub-K, on page 7 there is a headline error. The headline uses double quotes when it names "Little Shop of Horrors." It should be single quotes because it's in a headline.
In the Sept. 27, 2007 issue of The Wichita Eagle there is an article titled "Sen. Craig will stay in Senate past deadline." In that article the third sentence down is missing a period after the word "silence." The sentence and paragraph simply ends without using a period to signify it, and the article continues. The article was on page 5A.
I learned something from Michael Roehrman this week: When searching for errors, have the mind of 15-year-old hormonal boy.
So, keeping this in mind, there is a headline on Cnn.com under the national section that is titled "Victim uses Facebook to finger suspect."
I think they should think twice about using that headline again.
In Thursday's Wichita Eagle, the story titled "Sen. Craig will stay in Senate past deadline" (News In Brief on page 5A) does not have a period at the end of the first paragraph.
Now that we have been talking about etiquette of headlines and what headlines shouldn't have, I saw an article in the Sept. 17 edition of the USA Today that had quotes around its headline. "There is no appreciation for a fence that is constantly under stress." They should have done without the quotations.
On the Monday, Sept. 24 issue of The Sunflower News, the cutline for the mini-golf article has two mistakes. The first is the "s" is missing from the word "students" and the second is "benefit" is spelled as "benefeit."
In the same article on page 3, the quote "Some of us have been with us since the beginning..." has a mistake. I think it should be some of them since Jones is referring to the volunteers.
In the section of "crime briefs" of the Sept 24. issue of The Sunflower News, there are a few mistakes in the article titled "Student strikes another after intramurals." In the sentence "WPD caught up to the victim in their car," "their" should be replaced with "its." Then in the sentence "The victim was then able to identify their assailant...," "their" should be replaced with "the." "Lead" in the sentence "This information lead the arrest of the assailant by the WPD" should be replaced with "led to"
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20071001/sc_livescience/birdmakeslongestnonstopflight;_ylt=AuhsDlZzSH4WLGR2LPAyZJ8E1vAI
It's about a record bird flight
The lead sentence says "She just flew in from New Zealand and boy are her wings tired." It seems to me that that sentence is unprofessional, especially the "and boy are her wings tired" bit.
Another one in that story!
Second paragraph down, it says "the equivalent of flying roundtrip from New York to San Francisco, and then back to San Francsico."
It should say "the equivalent of flying from New York to San Francisco, and then back to New York."
From an Oct. 1 article on Kansas.com:
"This has been a long, long time in coming," said Victor White, director of airports. "We have been hungry for a long, long time to have good low-fare service to the western part of this country."
I think they could have cut one part of the quote out, or used an indirect quotation instead of using "long, long time" twice. It sounds juvenile and is repetitive.
I actually noticed an error a few days back in an advertisement for JCPenney. While searching through, I found that a few times the descriptions were like: Save more than 50% on etc. However, in one of the sections (Misses) it said save over 30% on etcetera.
I pointed it out to my manager, but she didn't seem to see the problem. I don't think that was supposed to happen on the advertisement.
USA Today always has a section where they talk about a certain city and the price of homes there. Today they were talking about Chapel Hill, NC. They were discussing the price of the medium size home and they list the number of bedrooms and bathrooms. Today this is how it was listed:
Cost: $259,900
Bedrooms: 3
Bedrooms: 2
According to the print, this is a five bedroom home with zero bathrooms!!
There is an error on the front page of The Eagle in Monday's paper. In one of the captions on the front page it says, "Investigators, incouding gang unit....." they misspelled including.
I noticed something in Wednesday's Sunflower. I wouldn't necessarily call it an error, but it's something I feel they should be cognisant of.
The display on the cover is about the football memorial. It's a very somber piece and talks about remembering the team and honoring them.
On the back, the sports cover says "Forget Football" in large, bold type.
I worked that night and didn't notice it, and I doubt many people will, but it's something to at least be aware of.
The sports section and the news section are two totally separate sections and the editors don't always collaborate, but it is the same paper and both these stories are on covers in large display type. It just didn't quite fit together as well as it should.
In the October first issue of The Sunflower there is an article titled "Earn credit, network in D.C." In the eleventh paragraph the word "today" is written when "Monday" would be more appropriate since the paper is not produced daily and you don't know when someone is going to pick the paper up.
I found a mistake on the "30 Rock" article in Dub-K.
The mistake I noticed is a mistake in spelling a person's name. Lorne Michaels is spelled as Loren a few lines down from when he is introduced.
Sorry, I had to correct my own punctuation in this post.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20071001/ts_csm/achildhealth;_ylt=AmOB6gN1vnxlb8b21DePVfz2_sEF
Twelve paragraphs down, there is either a punctuation or grammar error.
The last sentence of that paragraph says: But if we come back with another bill, "there are some things we will not compromise, and that's the number of kids: 10 million," he adds.
The Sunflower from October 3 has an editorial by Nate Goold on Britney Spears losing her kids. I'm not here to defend Spears at all, but I found his editorial to be a little much. He says that she's not intelligent and never has been. I think this is far too irrational of a statement. She did start a multi-million dollar career, didn't she? I simply thought he polarized the issue way too much.
I was reading an article on www.galluppoll.com titled "Churchgoing Protestants Not Embracing Romney" when I noticed an error on the fourth page. Under the section titled "Implications," a women is written instead of a woman. Women should be changed to woman to correct the error.
I'm looking at Kansas.com and there is a link for Wichita Crime Maps. This allows anyone to access a map showing what crimes happened in Wichita, when and where. i looked up my neighborhood and it listed all crimes within the past few weeks. I think its pretty cool that I can see what is happening in my area, but I'm sure some people are addicted to this and constantly check the site to see more crimes in their area. Ever thought it might be a good idea not to let people know EVERYTHING that happens in their neighborhood? People are paranoid.
In the October 1 edition of The Sunflower I was reading an editorial by Nate Goold entitled “WSU monkeying around with Goodall promotions.” As I read the article he used “crazy” to explain two items in the same sentence. I don’t think that the large cement pillars and the bulletin board wall are “crazy.” I think that they may be large and overly crowded but that’s it.
In a CNN.com article there are a couple of errors.
A quote says: "We thought that December he would be freed for Christmas but, we are still waiting."
The comma should be before but.
Another quote says: "We have thought about death already but we know in our hearts they are still alive. But there is no proof. No proof." Says Scheepers.
There should be a comma, not a period, after no proof. Says should be lowercase.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/10/07/iraq.safrica/index.html
In the Wednesday, Oct. 3 of The Sunflower News, there are two front page headlines where the preposition is split from the verb. The two headlines are "SAC event to host breakfast with Beggs" and "MySpace page leads to termination." The split probably happened because of the lack of space.
In the Oct. 3 issue of The Sunflower News, the headline "Shocktoberfest dodgeball tourney today" has a mistake. The dodgeball tournament was held on Thursday, Oct. 4 and the paper was published on the Wednesday, Oct. 3 therefore "today" should be replaced.
In the same issue of The Sunflower News, the word "entitled" in the story "Lecture will cover health disparities" should be changed to "titled."
In the Oct. 8 issue of The Sunflower Greg Marshall's name is spelled two different ways. In the cutline of the article on the back page it is spelled with two g's (Gregg), but in the article it's spelled with one (Greg). I looked him up on the university's Web site and his name is spelled Greg Marshall on that. So, that would mean that his name is spelled wrong in the cutline.
I'm reading the Monday, October 8, 2007 issue of the Eagle. Page 1B, Local & State, highlights the area news in brief. There is a section talking about Ron Sylvester and his postition as Regional Director of the Year. I looked at three different publications of the Eagle and in two of them found the period missing from the end of the first section and the last.
Also in the Oct. 8 issue of The Sunflower I noticed an error in the article titled "Student absences affect grades." In the second paragraph the sentence reads: A few weeks into semester... The word "the" should be inserted between into and semester in order to make the sentence flow better.
In the Sep. 19 issue of The Sunflower, the article titled "Republican group seeks members" uses several unnecessary phrases. It says, “Coming up in October …” but the “coming up” is not necessary. A few sentences later it uses the phrase “a lot of controversy” and “a lot of” is also unnecessary
Also in the Sep. 19 Sunflower, the article “Phi Delta leads intramural tennis” states that an athlete is “Supported by the fraternity’s current president …” but the fact that he is the current president should go without saying
The 2007 Career Guide produced by The Sunflower features an article called “How to deal with stress.” This article states that students find their way “through this frustrating, stressful, and long ordeal called college …” The second comma should be removed from this sentence. Also, the article uses the phrase “teachers of tomorrows youth” but “tomorrows” should be possessive.
In the article “How to make a major decision” featured in the Career Guide, the article states, “Career services also has a test to help students decide a path. It is also hosting a career fair on Wednesday.” The word “also” is used too close together.
Also in the Career Guide, the article titled “Work hard and not get fired” sounds awkward. It should be changed to something more fluent.
The article “401 (Que)?” in the Career Guide (which I think is an excellent headline) states “when an employee invests a certain percentage of his/her paycheck in the employers 401 (k) …” but the word “employers” should be possessive.
A local business sign on East Central states that it’s time to start planing for Christmas, but “planning” is misspelled. It drives me crazy because I have to drive past it every day!
In the Oct. 8 issue of The Sunflower there is an error in the article titled "Partnership provides green jobs." In the first paragraph, an non-profit is written when it should be written as a non-profit. "An" should be replaced with "a."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071010/ap_on_sc/nobel_chemistry;_ylt=AhqUlYhxGN__dfkLnnRExWdg.3QA
Second paragragh says "even why even why." It should only have one "even why" in it.
In the October 8 Sunflower, in the "Partnership provides green jobs" article, the article says a student is a medicine student, when it should say medical student.
On Wednesday morning I was watching CNN and they always have news scrolling at the bottom of the screen. This particular morning they had one scroll that was talking about the China markets opening on Wednesday and they spelled Wednesday, "Wedneseday".
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21224357/?GT1=10450
The story involves the Ohio shooting that happened today. On a paragraph, it gives a description as to who was shot.
"Officials said two teachers and two students were shot, and a 14-year-old girl fell and hurt her knee while running out of the school."
The last bit about the 14-year-old girl seems like it's unnecessary. I fell and scraped my knee yesterday, no one wrote about it.
On Kake.com there is an article titled "Lawrence Woman Attacked & Kidnapped." The first sentence does not make sense at all. It says, "A University of Kansas student is jailed the bloody beating of a Lawrence woman, an attack that a prosecutor calls 'horrific.'"
They need to add "in the bloody beating" or "after the bloody beating."
In the Monday, Oct. 8 edition of The Sunflower I read the editorial about The Eagle’s front page retraction. I found an issue with a sentence. “When the news station was later sued for its inaccurate reporting, it lost.” I thought the last part sounded awkward. I questioned who “it” was. It should have said the station lost, or indicated who lost.
In the October 11 edition of the Harvey County News there is an article on page 9 titled "Sedgwick EMS." In this article it states that Joe Uhlman is the Interim EMS Director. Interim should not be capitalized as it is not part of a title.
In the sports section of the Sunday paper, there is a story called "NBA aims to take China by storm." In the article, there is a sentance that starts out with "nine percent," however, according to AP style it needs to be "nine-percent."
I was looking at the student spelunker story on Yahoo News and I noticed the headline was confusing.
"Student spelunkers in Texas found safe"
I know you can probably assume they were found safe in the cave, but it can also be assumed they found a safe in a cave. Just an observation. It's possible that they could make the story focus on the students being found in a safe condition.
The headline on Monday's Wichitalk, "No Sew Costumes" runs together with the photo and looks like "No Sewl." Both the edge of the photo and the type is white. There should be more spacing between the headline and the photo, or the headline should be made a different cover.
Also on the same page, "Chocolate Milk's fine - but use a low-sugar version." I think using 'is' instead of the contraction would have been less confusing.
Also, in response to Caroline's post, isn't AP style nine percent, with no hyphen?
Once again on kake.com there is an article titled "Mother jailed after leaving kids with stranger."
Towards the end there is a sentence that says:
"More than 10 hours passed, and the babysitter becae concerned that Orona had not been called or had come to pick up her children."
Becae should be "became."
I am beginning to think that Kake needs a good editor for their website. :)
The Eagle had an article in Friday's paper(Oct.19)which was titled "Arkansas legislators get to keep spittoons." In this article there is a section that is written "Rep. Billy Gaskill, who smokes and does not chew tobacco..." If he doesn't smoke then the word "but" should be used instead of "and" because he does one and not the other.
In the Wednesday Oct. 17 issue of The Sunflower News, the article titled "Jazz music, ice cream go down smoothly" has some mistakes. If I am not mistaken, Octoberfest should be replaced with Shocktoberfest because in the beginning of the article it was stated that "The event was hosted by the Student Activities Council as part of Shocktoberfest..."
Also in the same article on page 3, the first line stated that "The group has played several other events..." I believe that the word "at" is missing. Also "several" can be eliminated.
I was reading a weird news article on kzsn.com and happened across this headline “Dare Ya Turns Deadly.” Maybe if ‘Dare Ya’ was like this, as it was said by a person it would make more sense to me. The article was about two construction workers who drowned when on challenged the other to swim across a pond in Florida. As I read I found a line that didn’t make sense to me. “The bodies of both men were recovered from the pond off Florida 16 early Monday, the Jacksonville Times-Union said.” Maybe the Florida 16 would make sense to someone in Florida, but reading it in Kansas doesn’t make sense.
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003661149
The first paragraph of this story contains an error. It says "He certain left Tim Russert incredulous if not, of course, speechless..."
Certain should be certainly.
In the Oct. 22 issue of The Sunflower News, the caption on the front cover has an error. They misspelled Sarah Lungren's name, leaving out the 'r'. Also, in that headline there is an extra space between on and 12.
In a few of the brief headlines there are random capitalizations. Lifeguard training class should not all be capitalized. In the guest artist brief hed, artist does not need to be capitalized.
I was looking at pictures from the Mock Disaster that happened at Washington and Waterman on Kansas.com. I was reading the captions for the photos and all 17 ended in “during the mock disaster training.” I understand that they want to emphasis that it was a mock disaster, but that doesn’t need to be the ending phrase for each of the photos. The title of the photo page was “Mock Disaster.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071022/ap_on_re_us/california_wildfires_94;_ylt=Albq2ZNZXgVXMwR41.J1tP0E1vAI
This article states that dozens of people were injured in wildfires in California, but just two paragraphs later it says that "several" were injured.
Several and dozens are very different. It should say one or the other.
In the Monday, October 15, 2007 issue of the Sunflower, the cardinal rule of editing in the Elliott School was broken. On the front page in the article, ESC kicks off Comm Week, Elliott School is misspelled. In the ninth paragraph the word Elliott only got one t.
In the October 15th issue of the Sunflower under the article about Jane Goodall, in the second column there is a sentence that states, "Then she observed chimpanzees using twigs as tools to get termites for foods". It should say "food".
In the Monday, October 22 issue of the Sunflower, the main story was about volleyball and so was a sidebar story right next to it. Each story had the same basic information.
The Oct. 8 Sunflower article "WSU fundraiser earns more than $48 million" had a couple of errors. The last paragraph reads, "According to King, the WSU Foundation is currently not in fundraising mode, but they have been discussing campaign plans for the future." Aside from the Foundation being referred to as "they," the author inaccurately interpreted King's remarks. The Foundation is ALWAYS in fundraising mode (I work at the Foundation). I believe the author meant to say the Foundation is not currently in the middle of a special campaign, which is what King meant. Also, toward the beginning of the article, the author mentions True Knowles and says he "is also responsible for leading companies such as Dr. Pepper and Nutrasweet." This sounds as if he is currently in charge of both companies (he isn't).
Did anyone see the October 22 headline in the Wichita Eagle that read
"Girl's fall off
car part of
risky trend,
officials say" ?
I swear...I read it 3 times before finally understanding exactly what it meant.
It seems like it was really broken up and even though I'm familiar with the story, I still thought the girl had fallen off of a car part.
Last Friday, on the 4pm edition of KAKE news, anchor Deb Farris was introducing a package about the return of the former Pakistani Prime Minister, Benazir Bhutto and she called HER "HE."
Not a hugely noticable mistake, just a little something I caught.
Here's a headline for an Oct. 23 article in the University Daily Kansan:
Jayhawk fans a bunch of followers
I would really hope so... if they don't follow the Jayhawks, they're not very good fans.
If they do literally follow the Jayhawks, maybe someone should follow up with a restraining order? =P
I thought this headline from from an Oct. 14 article in the Sydney Morning Herald was clever:
I podcast, therefore I am
Clever headlines make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
PS- Like how I'm playing catch-up on my [lack of] blog postings?
Recently, Chuck Norris, star of Walker Texas Ranger and Total Gym peddler, publicly endorsed Mike Huckabee for president. Here are some of my favorite headlines on this story:
Another Chuck Norris Fact: His Pick is Huckabee -Baltimore Sun
Huckabee Nabs Coveted Chuck Norris Endorsement -Washington Post
Chuck Norris Hearts Huckabee -Village Voice
Chuck Norris Endorses Huckabee, Ninja-Dropkicks Hillary -Wonkette
Here's my gift-with-purchase:
"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live."
=D
Today's top story on Salon.com:
Fair Plame
After years of enforced silence, Valerie Plame Wilson finally tells all -- except for the stuff the CIA blacked out
I giggled more than I probably should have.
On Wednesday issue of the Sunflower at the bottom of the page, there is a mistake on format. Underneath the picture of construction it says "Caption caption" signifying that the editor for got to put in the caption, or it didn't go through.
Today on kansas.com, this article appeared:
Lottery commission extends Sumner casino deadline
For some reason, it annoyed me how it kept referring to the Kansas Lottery Commission as "the lottery". I imagined a casino developer showing plans to scratch-and-win ticket. =\
Also, this article was on kansas.com:
Father of slain Marine says funeral protest sickened him
In it, this line appears:
Albert Snyder is seeking unspecified monetary damages in the case for invasion of privacy and intent to inflect emotional distress.
in·flect
v. tr.
To alter (the voice) in tone or pitch; modulate.
Grammar To alter (a word) by inflection.
To turn from a course or a specified alignment; bend.
v. intr. Grammar
To be modified by inflection.
To give all of the inflected forms of a word; to provide a paradigm.
It should be "inflict."
Did anyone notice that today there were two short stories on kansas.com about streets closing for construction? Both 13th and 17th streets are having traffic detoured to 21st Street. Wouldn't it have been better to make one story about north Wichita traffic headaches?
In the Oct. 24 issue of The Sunflower there is a story on the back page of the paper about cross country. At the end of the story it reads, "Please see Runners on Page 7," and it forces the reader to flip from page 8 to page 7. I just thought that it was a little off, and odd to flip back into the paper after I had closed it.
In Catholic Charities' shelter campaign raised $5.7 million, it tells about Catholic Charities exceeding its fund raising goal for its two shelters. The article states that "People can still buy bricks for $100 that can be customized with personal messages for the shelter's Walkway of Hope." It either needs to be "shelters'" or clarify which shelter has the "Walkway of Hope."
In the Sunflower on Wednesday, there was a front page story on Helen Prejean coming to WSU. I found several grammatical errors:
"Before the curtains are raised Thursday" might sound better saying "Before the curtains raise Thursday."
Wilner Auditorium needs to be capitalized.
"She will share some of her experiences getting to know several death row inmates..." might also sound better saying, "She will share some of her experiences getting to know death row inmates."
Also in the Sunflower on Wednesday, there was a story on the new pipelines being installed on campus. There was one sentance in particular that could sound better re-written as so:
OLD SENTANCE
"One pipe running to the Corbin Education Center will be a steam line, while the other returning from the education center will return condensed water from the steam."
MY SENTANCE
"One pipe running to the Corbin Education Center will be a steam line, while the other, returning from the education center, will return condensed water from the steam."
The Eagle had an article in Saturday's paper titled,"Victim of robbery, shooting identified". This headline doesn't make sense. A shooter is identified or a victim is identified but a shooting isn't identified.....
Carolyn...
It's "sentence," not "sentance." Sorry for nitpicking.
I was looking at Google News today and found an article from The Boston Globe. The headline reads “50 percent less truth.” First I thought that in a headline “percent” should be “%.” (the percent symbol) It would have made it on one line instead of two. Also I had no clue as to what this article would be about. The headline doesn’t give a good description as to what it would be about. The article was about top public health officials that addressed the Senate on the health impact global warming. Julie Gerberding, who heads the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, had her testimony cut in half due to White House Administration trying to censor what the public hears about climate change.
I was reading the Sunflower online today and read the story “Jayhawks move up to No. 8.” The first three words in the first sentence are “Hell froze over…” Just because KU hasn’t had an 8-0 record since 1909 doesn’t mean that hell froze over. I think that that phrase is a little extreme. Just beacuse the Jayhawks are having a great football season thus far, doesn't meant that hell has frozen over. It just means that they've got some good players and good coaching.
I found an error on the Sunflower Monday. Underneath the Halo 3 Tourney issue, there is an error in spelling.
"The firs-prize finisher was awarded $50..."
It should be first-prize.
I was reading the Oct 25 of Dub-K and spotted an unnecessary word in the "Doc Green's Gourmet Salads and Grill" article. In "The Menu" I believe "up" in the sentence "... salads wrapped up in tortillas" can be removed.
I found it ironic that the article, Phelpses relish their time in the spotlight, about how the loonies from the Westboro Baptist Church enjoy the free publicity newspapers give them, appeared in the Eagle.
Also, shouldn't "Earth dwellers" be hyphenated?
I saw a headline on kansas.com that read, "Possible Fed rate cut buoys Wall St."
Shouldn't "Street" be spelled out?
In the Oct. 29 issue of The Sunflower there is an article titled "Nude Woman Removed From Fairmount Area." In the third paragraph the article reads "WSU Police Chief Paul Dotson the woman was found on the premises." The sentence should say WSU Police Chief Paul Dotson said the woman... The word "said" should have been inserted in order for the sentence to make sense.
In the Monday Sunflower, the 'Halo 3 Tourney' story has a typo:
"The firs-prize finisher was"...
-It is missing the ''t'' on ''first.''
There is an advertisement on TV for Tony Snow coming to Century II, and the word "strateries" is actually printed mispelled.
I noticed a sign today in the foyer of the library that said “if you would like pastries please ask for assistants”. This is disturbing because it should say “assistance”.
I pass by this Mexican restaurant every day and its name always irks me. The sign says "Taco's Raymundo" and that implies that the tacos own the people. Now, I've always been afraid of apes becoming our masters, but it never occurred to me that tacos had dictatorial instincts too.
On Kake.com there is an article about a woman who drove the wrong way on I-135, causing a wreck this morning. This was written at the end of the article:
"Both victims were taken to the hospital - there injuries are said to not be life-threatening."
"There" should be "their."
In the Oct. 31 edition of The Sunflower the front page subhead really bothered me. The subhead said “Group remembers dead Iraq soldiers.” I then read the story and found out that it was suppose to honor fallen American soldiers who died in Iraq. This subhead is misleading and incorrect for the story. The person who wrote this story is a very poor job on the subhead, and needed to be a better identify that the display was for fallen American soldiers in the story too. I understand that they have limited space to work with, but something better could have better.
I was also reading the Sunday edition of The Eagle this morning. In the Art section there is a calendar of events for November posted on the front page. I thought that was a great idea. It gave me some ideas for things to do this month.
In the Sunday edition of the Sun-Sentinal (the Fort Lauderdale newspaper) there is an article titled "Town's Taps Run Dry." In this article there is a sentence that reads, "The severe drought tightening like a vise across the Southeast has threatened..."
In this sentence, Southeast should not be capitalized because it isn't a name of a place it is an area.
In the Oct. 29 issue of The Sunflower News, there are some mistakes in the first page.
In the Halo 3 article, "t" is missing from the word first-prize.
Then under the section crime briefs, there are some missing words. In the second article, the word "to" is missing in the sentence "According the campus..."
In the nude woman article, the word "said" is missing from the sentence "WSU Police Chief Dotson the woman was found on the premises."
I received a notice about the maintenance team coming to check the furnace filter and smoke detectors.
I spot a mistake in the notice. This notice was not distributed to me only. It was distributed to the whole apartment complex.
"It is time for furnace filter and smoke and detector checks." I think the word "and" in between smoke and detector should not be there.
I was reading chapter 14 of my marketing 300 book and on the first page there is a sentence that reads, "The strategy to draw people in worked: within months, strong word of mouth began resulting in sold-out performances." In this sentence they did not use a hyphen with word-of-mouth. However, through the rest of the chapter, word-of-mouth was written correctly.
In the Eagle's Monday edition the front page of Sports has an error. In the article, "Jayhawks' formula", There is a sentence that reads, "KU had only one penalty and didn't turn the ball". It would be best to say "didn't turnover the ball".
In the article Wichita hits Top 10 in National Night Out, there is a sentence that reads "Nearly 300 different groups and an estimated 10,000 Wichita residents participated in local National Night Out block parties on August 7 -- an increase of 85% over last year." How do they know it was an 85% increase when all of the numbers they've mentioned were "nearly" and "estimated" quantities?
On the Cocoa Dolce Web site, www.cocoadolce.com, there is a top ten list for why a person should visit Cocoa Dolce in Wichita. The number one reason states "Holloween is here!" Halloween is spelled incorrectly on the site, because the "o" should be replaced with an "a."
This is I guess a comment/question about a style issue in the Sunday (11/11/07) edition of the Eagle. On the font page of the L&S section, There's an article about former state Rep. Mike Farmer dying.
In the article, he's refered to as 'Mr. Farmer', instead of just 'Farmer.' Why?
...just curious, I assumed someone on here could answer my question.
Spangles has something new on their menu called "Asian Chicken on Pita." I think that is what it is called. I don't really remember. Anyway, I have been driving pass the Spangles on 21st Street and noticed that "Asian" was spelled "Asain" on its billboard. Just thought I would point that out. I am not sure if they have already changed it.
The Monday, Nov. 12 issue of The Sunflower contains two stories on the front page. Both are about last Friday's event in which attorney C.L. Lindsay spoke about Facebook and Myspace postings.
One of the articles focused on an incident last year when a staff member was reprimanded for posting a photo of him and several students, one under 21, drinking in his hot tub. The article uses an anonymous student as it's main source of information. I think that's the wrong thing to do with such a controversial topic. I think it makes the article less credible. It seems more like a "he said, she said" gossip column.
In the Monday, Nov. 12 Sunflower, the sports article on page 5, "Kellyn Johnson takes sixth at regional meet" doesn't ever mention what sport the article is about.
In the Sunday Eagle, under the Calender section, they have a play called "The Vagina Dialogues" but I have some friends in it, and I'm pretty sure it's "The Vagina Monologues."
In the Friday Eagle, there is a story that says:
"...on Thursday siezed 11 dogs and 11 dogs."
In the article Wichitans caught in alleged sex scheme, the following line is missing the word "to."
"They rarely go a hotel room," he said. "If arrested, we do put their face and the video online."
The IMAX story on today's front page of the Wichita Eagle has a mistake in the third paragraph. The sentance starts out "At issue is the Maize Town Center..." and it needs to be "The issue is the Maize Town Center..."
The main headline of the Wichita Eagle's website says "Woman hurt while helping motorist released from hospital." Upon further observation and a dirty mind, one might translate the headline sexually. Perhaps a reordering of the words might be in order so it doesn't seem sexual or suggestive.
In the Nov. 14 Sunflower, the writer of "WSU lands expansion funding" spelled head baseball coach Gene Stephenson's last name "Stevenson" twice.
Also, in the basketball section, the story about international players never says where Brett Burley is from.
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